Anything but a JPC?

Since the last defunct parliamentary session, the opposition has created a huge furore - demanding a Joint Parliamentary Committee (JPC) probe to look into the recent spate of scams.

Primarily the focus of this JPC, which might be aborted before conception, would be to probe the 2G scam. The gamut of the probe might include the CWG (Commonwealth games) scam too. The JPC has more powers – at least on paper – than the Public Accounts Committee (PAC) of the Parliament. While the PAC merely looks at the anomalies of the Finances approved by the Parliament, the JPC can look in to the sensitive issue of propriety.

The PAC does not possess the legal ambit of summoning ministers beyond the ministry-in-question for interrogation. It works primarily on the basis of information provided by the Comptroller and Auditor General’s Office. Besides according to the rules of Parliament, the primary function of the PAC is to oversee the “expenditures of sums granted” by the Parliament for the Government of India.

In the case of our honourable Indian Olympics Association head, the PAC can raise flags at the way the allocated funds have been spent inappropriately. But in the case of the 2G scam the scope of investigation is reduced manifold, mainly because technically speaking it was a revenue-generating tool used by the Government by selling radio frequency bands to telecom operators and not an issue of expenditure. This however does not mean that the PAC is toothless in the 2G scam investigation. The PAC can go into the fine area of a government deal which lies “beyond, the formality of expenditure to its wisdom, faithfulness and economy”, which it should and will.

However in this case given the limitations of who can be interrogated, the investigation might hit a roadblock pretty soon, even worse it might end up accusing a handful for their excesses while the others go scot-free. Besides the functional nitty-gritties, what works in favour of the ruling party is the fact that the minutes cannot be made public as they unfold. It is only the Action Taken Statements of the govt and the Action Taken Report of the PAC, which can be made public post being tabled in the Parliament. Here the ruling party has the opportunity of delaying and procrastinating. Therein given the average attention span of the electorate and media which is equitable to a Goldfish’s memory, by the time the final Action Taken Statement is made Public their might be a bigger better scam for the taking.

A JPC on the other hand can spread its net wider and go into the larger gamut of allocation and look into the role of various players, not remaining restricted just to the ministry-in-concern. It has the right and mandate to interrogate anyone and everyone on any angle vis-à-vis the issue. The beauty of the JPC is that there is a possibility for the opposition to make the reportings/minutes of the probe, as they unfold, public without violating any code of conduct. Added to that if a particular person, which includes Her Majesty Madam (HMM-Sonia) and the PM, is summoned and if they do not turn up then it amounts to contempt of Parliament: which is a serious offence. Though in the JPC the speaker has the final say on the nature of summons issued, the refusal of one can provide the opposition with the required impetus to disrupt further sessions of Parliament without losing popular support in public.

Recently Manmohan Singh (MMS) said that if the PAC summons him he would be more than willing to appear. Then why does he have issues with the setting up of a JPC? Well the probable causes are more than many. The opposition can keep up the heat by constantly questioning the holy cows – cabinet, HMM and MMS all at once – and the constant reporting of their answers could render the image of the grand old party all the more gullible in public view.

Historically speaking, the grand old party and the soul of the first chocolate boy of Indian politics are still reeling under the effects of JPC probe on the Bofors’ case. Given these causes, the perpetual aversion towards the formation of a JPC to look into the accountability and integrity of the ruling party. And it is this aversion that led to the setting up of a single judge committee to look into the 2G scam and it is this aversion that made MMS claim that he would jump protocol and be willing to be interrogated by the PAC. In fact the loose cannon of the grand old party (read: Digvijay Singh) has gone to the extent of publicly equating Advani and RSS with the Nazi Party in an apparent bid to dent the opposition’s image. Basically the ruling party is leaving no stone unturned to avoid a JPC.

So big deal! MMS is an honest guy with a pristine track record. How can the inquiry anyway affect his aura? Now this is where it gets a little tricky. Any kind of public/govt transaction beyond 500 crore rupees has to be approved by the cabinet (read: Prime Minister). So either he is a silent rubber stamp by the higher echelons of the party for their vested interests (which could range from coalition dharma to making a quick buck) or he is party to the corruption. In both cases the image of the institution as well as the image of Prime Minister MMS would be shattered. This might have an imminent domino effect for the future of the grand old party. I shall explain how.

There’s no denying the fact that apparently MMS has become the Brutus of Indian politics, taking a piggy back ride on whom the Cassiuses are going around stabbing the Caesar of Indian democracy (read: exchequer). Once the honour and integrity of MMS is put under the scanner, the dynasty will be running helter-skelter to find a potential seat warmer for the Octavius (read: Rahul Gandhi) in-waiting, after all there are too may Antonys-in-waiting within their fold. Simple isn’t it?

Going by the precedence of multiple committees and probes the final verdict of which never saw the light of day, there is no guarantee that this would-be JPC will succeed in settling scores with the nexus of corrupt politicos and telecom operators. Nonetheless it will definitely help lift the veil of incompetence from MMS, which might reveal an uglier face of silent camaraderie with corruption.

P.S.: And of course since the PAC is a perennial Parliamentary committee, therefore setting up a JPC would effectively mean investigations by both PAC and JPC. Therefore a two pronged attack on the government. Lastly I deliberately did not mention the ongoing CBI inquiry because what the hell!!! who trusts them?

Mirror Mirror on the Wall, who's the tainted of 'em all

Nira Radia: The lady in the eye of the storm of the 2G scam. Or rather the lady who brewed the entire storm to begin with. What seemed to be a run-of-the-mill scam involving a few thousands of crores and a minister with an insatiable appetite turned out be deeper, murkier and perhaps the perfect recipe for a Manohar Kahaniyan bestseller. A cache of phone conversations tapped by the Enforcement Directorate of the Income Tax department mysteriously made way to two publishing houses viz Outlook and Open.

The publishing of these tête-à-têtes opened the proverbial Pandora’s box. Ranging from corporate bigwigs like Ratan and Mukesh to the pillars of the fourth estate, Vir and Padamshri Barkha to the Dalaals of the grand old party of India – nobody was spared. The first reaction to these tapes was utter shock. With an average of two major scandals each year we Indians are not averse to scams but the level of involvement of the Barking dogs (read: media) is what sent many of us in a tizzy. For anyone who has worked in the media it’s a known fact that owners lobby to receive material gains, but what these tapes did was that they put a name on the unknown faces of corruption. Sadly enough most of them were people many of us grew up citing as classic epitomes of honest work and brave journalism.

The lash-back was quite obvious. The journos said what they themselves make fun of, “I have been misquoted,” or “The quotes have been used out of context” or (this is my favorite) “ As a journalist we need to talk to all sorts of people to gain information.” Ratan on the other hand was not willing to say tata to this issue by quietly sweeping it under the rug. He went on to challenge the publications of the tapes in the Supreme Court citing violation of his Right to Privacy under his Right to Life. I wonder if he would cite similar reasons - ie improving his Right to Life by a few hundred crores - for illegally coercing and soliciting the portfolios within the UPA-II cabinet.

Coming back to the Mata Hari of Indian corporate lobbying. Nira Radia has a huge task eked out for her. Besides a tarnished image she is being charged of using unsolicited means to garner 300 crores in a span of 9 years, which roughly comes to over 33 crores annually. She even had the audacity to float the proposal for a domestic airlines service. (If a busy bee is to be believed her strength was derived from the then NDA Civil Aviation Minister, Ananth Kumar for reasons your imagination shall fill you with). All this through just corporate communications? Well mister if you are an aspiring something, chuck your plans for a techie job or a management guru profile or even for that matter all Ponzi schemers too, for Ms Radia has shown, Corporate communications is second only to Raja-Munda brand of politics if you intend to make a quick buck.

Oh yes, I almost forgot, the notorious Outlook came out with a second set of conversations this Sunday last. Since then NDTV has not come out with any clarifications and all the chirping through twitter also seems to have taken a back-seat for Sanghvi and Padamshri Barkha. Why? Here’s an excerpt.

Journalists played a key role, says Radia. “Congress ne to statement Thank God issue kar diya. Barkha ne karwaa liyaa us se.” The guy confirms the statement. "Haan woh to maine dekh liya. aa gayaa naa Manish Tewari kaa".  Radia is busy speaking to a “minister” at “2 o' clock” lobbying for Raja. (http://www.outlookindia.com/article.aspx?268618)

This second lot has clearly shown that inside the Pandora’s box is another can or worms which still deeper might be housing another pregnant monster of corruption. The levels of corruption seem to be akin to a Chinese puzzle box. Besides Raja, this time it seems that Nira was specifically interested in the portfolios of Murli Deora and Anand Sharma.

Through her conversations with JDU minister NK Singh it seems that Mukesh Ambani batted for Deora to get a second term. Deora’s loyalty for his master Mukesh is affirmed by his consistent pitching in favour of Mukesh, which saved him a great deal of money (read: several thousand crores) by bailing him out of the subsidized sale of natural gas for his brother, Anil’s power plant in 2009.

Amidst all this chaos who do you think is the most relieved man today? I’ll give you a few hints. He has a beard, his initials are SK, he believes in buying toilet paper worth fifteen hundred rupees and he is the head of the country’s largest sports scam. Any guesses?

An Apology for Paid News

The supposed blame for the problem here cannot and should not be squarely put on the media.

Reason 1: HOW IS THE SHOW RUN?

We need to understand that news channels and publishing houses no longer run on the patronage of good minded philanthropists as they used to during the coinage of the term 'fourth estate'. Today it's a business and money needs to be minted in order to survive and to pay the journalists their exorbitant six figured salaries. And lets face it 300 crore for a 3 column article is at par with a half page page-1 ad.

Secondly: WHO RUN THE SHOW?

Now that it's been established the money rules the roost we need to look at the journalist institutions differently: to begin with remove the halo. During the non-election times they go around bashing politicians left right and center over developmental issues, environmental concerns, security issues et al but do we ever stop to think "Where the hell are the pvt players?" "Why is Buddhadeb being bashed and Ratan Tata not?" "Why is Ms Meena being slit to pieces and not the owners of POSCO?" The reason is simple. During the non election season its the corporates who are clandestinely funding different media concerns (many partly owning them too). Now the media concerns are mere pressure groups who like any other in a pluralist capitalist economy are pushing their vested interests. Like any other pressure group they have to take sides. They need to keep the funding magnates as well the policy makers in good humour. If we need to haul up the politicos we need to haul up the bigwigs of the corporate world too. Can we do that?

Reason 3: CAN THE BAD BOYS BE DONE AWAY WITH?

No we can't. The possibility of bashing the richies and the neta sounds good; a bit too good, tethering on being romantically utopic. If we try to amputate all the so called corrupt-ors the snow ball would turn in to an avalanche. Let me explain how. The average technical maintenance of a news channel is anything between 10 crores to 100 crores per month. Without the flow of dough the technology would necessarily have to be scaled down thereby say hello once again to bad reception, glaring backgrounds and hello ugly old haggards who should be sitting at home and not anchoring prime time news and good bye to on spot reportage and covergae of the back of the beyond zones. Next the rise in salaries has given a competitive edge to the quality of entrants. Earlier in the day (say about a decade or two ago), for the majority (I am not denying the presence of the Barkha Dutts and the Rajdeeps but they are not running the show alone) journalism was for people who could not crack the civil services. It was a second hand profession. "I could not do anything in life. No problem I will become a journalist." Therefore remove the dough and hardworking set of intelligent buggers shall stop taking journalism as their first career option. Are you or I willing to make that compromise in quality. I am not.

Reason 4: THERE ISN'T A SINGLE PRISTINE PAPER/CHANNEL!

The absence of even a single neutral channel or newspaper is phenomenon the cause of which is not just the absence of ethics/values. Let's see which organisations can we term the most ethical (chuck neutrality). I'd say The Hindu and Tehelka. Mr Ram's political allegiances our more than evident and his take on neutrality went down the drain when not even one anti CPM article was published during the famous Nandigram/Singur days. Tehelka; lets put it this way Mr Tejpal was drowning and his life support tubes had been mangled by the BJP. Instead of fading away, the website went on to become a national magazine. Reason! The Congress bailed him out and since then he has survived on the pleasure of the INC. Technically with the low circulation as is of the Magazine, Tehelka should have ceased to exist long ago. Hence proved that 100pc ethics and neutrality is utopian and is not practically possible. Why? Because no money, no honey!

Reason 5: ARE ADVERTORIALS FACTUALLY INCORRECT?

Coming now to the issue of printing advertorials during elections. I have read many such advertorials and I am sure even you have. There is indeed a free flow of adjectives but tell me how many of them are factually incorrect (the point in consideration here is veracity not partial or incomplete truths). None! So journalistically speaking what's wrong. You might pick up my last ending parenthesis and say half truth is a lie too but in defense of the journalists I'd say that the topic of coverage for the party or neta is chosen wisely enough to ensure that there's nothing but positive but of course we know that there is a second side too. Well coming to that, articles like this very topic which we are discussing can have many opinions so why cant a journalist have his or her own opinion driving a story?

Reason 6: JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE JOURNALISTS DOESN'T MEAN THEY HAVE TO CHOOSE ETHICS OVER SURVIVAL!

The same way a Doctor is meant to be selfless and treat all patients alike but does not in the same way there is a gap between the expected and the practicable in the field of the journalism too. I remember; one of my closest friends who used to cover Business in the same organization where I worked, came up with an earth shattering news against Mukesh Ambani. The management clearly told him: Sorry we cant carry this story because they (RIL and co.) are our investors (euphemism for masters). 

Therefore giving teeth to paper tigers like the Press Council of India or amending People's Representation Act is not going to help. There's no panacea for this. Like everything else it's a matter of compromise. This is bad (ethically speaking) but for God's sake this is survival and its the fittest who shall survive. As long as the media continues to raise issues of day to day concerns, as long as the Barkhas and the Goswamis bash our politicians for their ill doings, as long as we are informed, as long as the Parthsarthys tell us about the woes of rural India, I see no harm in making this compromise. 

P.S. Not to forget there's one channel which has no advertorials/paid news whatsoever - DD NEWS - Is it your favorite channel or option for news? Is it the best media group according to you? 

Spare the rod, kill the child...

Offspring are different between the same set of parents. One responds to love the other to hate. Can't possibly treat them all similarly, in fact none with the intention of breaking bones or leaving indelible scars or bleeding faces. An occasional  thwack on justified grounds are more potent. But why am I talking about this.


My intention is to see whether the Principal of French traitor's school is to be held responsible for the death of 13-year-old boy.


His teachers say that he was a naughty boy just like any other boy his age. He was caned by the Principal over disciplinary grounds. Twelve days later he committed suicide.


Read this way and there seems to be just one plausible reason for suicide with a clear list of suspects. The child was suffering mental trauma because of the treatment meted out to him in school. He tried to run away from it but seeing his imminent return to school he took his own life.


There is a lot of speculation on the topic of Suicide. A fool proof theory is still awaited. Nonetheless there a few substantial theories discussing different probable causes.


Physiological: When a person grows old they opt for euthanasia. For obvious reasons this can ruled out in the boy's case right at the onset.


Psychological: Depression induced suicide tops the chart. People, more often than not, carry strains of depression in their genes. The other depressants develop these traits over time stimuli provided externally. In such cases there are obvious traits. Insomnia, avoiding social gatherings, bipolarity, erratic mood swings et al. Going by the Father's words and the word of his schoolmates, the boy was anything but a depressed soul.


Drug abuse: Not applicable on an a priori assumption given the age of the deceased


Sociological: Anomie caused due to sudden changes in lifestyles. The sudden change needs to be drastic too. One example would be the farmers committing suicide due to sudden weather anomalies rendering them incapable of feeding their loved ones. Nothing as drastic took place.


Then it could be a display of defiance and requirement for avoidance. This seems most plausible.


Defiance and avoidance need to be seen in the light of various social institutions the boy was participating in. The social institution of school was a big part of his life but wouldn't the love for friends be a stronger cohesive force than the respect for teachers and authority. According to reports and parents' version, he had no dearth of friends and he was a socially amicable chap. So if we try to look at the school the way he did, we might a see an institution where I have a lot of friends...I have a lot of fun with them...my teachers keep stopping me...I am a defiant boy so I pay little or no heed to warnings, which inevitably lands me in trouble (according to one of the teachers he came to school three days after being canned by his Principal with stink bombs). But according to the evidence collected (after the death that is) by his parents he stopped going to school altogether because he didn't wish to face his teachers.


There is a view that defiance coupled with fear might have been the reason. I wouldn't mind buying this theory but then I have one question. How come his parents didn't arbitrate?


They didn't get an inkling about their son's stress. If he was being caned in school which caused existential issues due to it and he didn't share his woes with his parents who is to be blamed? Should the parents be blamed if he couldn't take the stress of being publicly punished (something which many in my school took lightly enough to be again at the receiving end soon)?


If a child can't tolerate public punishment in school its obvious that the parents never reprimanded their son so he never developed the adequate resistance. Social sanctions are a strong part of socialization. A child is taught what is right and what is wrong. A role to be played essentially by parents, the absence of which can have pernicious repercussions. Punishment of any order makes the child psychologically resistant to censure and castigation elsewhere. The possibility of being disgraced gets institutionalized. In the absence of which a child  grows up into a man who can never take the loud rantings of his boss casually, or worse a man who becomes intolerant to criticism. I know that despite improper socialization, a child may be grow up to be a normal individual. But then this lack of concern can be compared to smoking. There's a strong chance of getting cancer but a smoker might just not.


Icing on the cake: The boy gave his mother at least three call on her mobile on that fateful day. Mom was busy learning golf and the caddy was given clear instructions of not taking any calls. This boy was a different version of Jeremy. Heard by none but loved by all.


I am not saying the Principal and teachers are faultless. All I have done is I have tried to interpret an extremely convoluted and complicated event. And as per my interpretation, the parents need to be sharing the cell along with the Principal.

Arushi! Where art thou ?!!

A desperate scream out to the heavens!


Dear Arushi
We need you to come back and tell us what happened that April night. There are stories which had been in circulation amidst circumspecting busy bees. I know them all by-heart I am still confused.


Its been over 2 years and the more I think the deeper I get stuck in the quagmire that is you. I believe you had a good life. You were living the dream life of a 14-year-old girl from metropolitan India. But Arushi there's one things which pricks my intellect. Were you really happy or was it an apparent-facade.


They say that your loved ones did it...I am sorry about it but this is the most appealing theory. I too believe this the most amidst the rest. But again what went wrong? What pushed you against the wall?


I don't want to bore you with the theories because you know it all. I just wanted to seek an appointment with you to know the conclusion. Somebody tore the last chapter from the book and I need to know what happened. How come you had a concussion though there were no signs of struggle? Was your throat cut, with surgical precision, post-mortem? Did you know something that for worth killing for? Where does the dead butler fit in? What did your daddy's friend know...no no not Mr Durrani I am talking about the one who led the cops to open the roof next day? What were you doing 24 hours before you died? Fingerprint, DNA, Forensic evidence none?


You must have been a happy 14-year-old a day before. Thinking about things girls your age think about. (I wouldn't dare list them at the fear of being tagged a sexist) Worried about things adults would pass off as inconsequential. Dreams of becoming a famous personality someday. Chasing the clouds on a gold hooved pony with Prince Charming.




Nobody wants to own up but the fact is that it's elevated from the cess pit of sensory and intellectual investigations and to the lofty height of the perfect murder.


Motive Unknown. Weapon used Unknown. Murderer Unknown.


Please consider my request seriously.

end of chapter

___________________________________________________

boat burning

When you see the peak for the first time you feel intimidated. That’s the point where the seed of your journey lies curled up in its shell. Either you feel confident and pay no heed or you are confident but wary of the dangers or you remain intimidated or you are scared but optimistic.

Packing for a trek this tough becomes quintessential for the end result. Some books, notes, classroom-notes, magazines, guides and mentors being the bare necessities. Then what about the luxuries? Moving against gravity in the chilly wind carrying anything seems a burden. But then…what the hell! You tell yourself, “I surely can wrap a few luxuries here and there.” Some friends, a lover maybe, acquaintances, ex-colleagues, addictions etc.

Don’t you remember what conspired in the last few months before you reached the base camp? You put everything at stake. Then why did you pack the luxuries? I am sorry but you cannot hunt with the hounds and run with the hares.

Your first go at it was horrible!!!…excuse me for my sporadic outbreaks.

You were confident and you paid heed but you made one mistake. I am not here to accuse you and I hate repeating myself but somebody has to be the bad guy. You packed too many luxuries. End result you lost everything that was at stake. Period.

Luckily your bones are still intact. So what if you got fleeced by the monkeys on your way. You still have the choice to leave. But lets face it; you have nobody or nowhere to go.

Brace your self mister. You fell before the half mark this time. Now you know first hand that the urban legends and myths surrounding this peak are not completely wrong. Here take this. This is a set of the basics. And…here’s some money for luxuries. Use it wisely or be wise enough.

walker

when he looks ahead in the distance
all he sees is barren land
he came hoping a fertile glance
all he sees is barren land


the snakes of the sun
come past the one
crawling, hissing, spitting
taking turns one by one


he fights them all, he moves them aside
filled with his sight, he takes them on a ride


with each step he takes
sand seeps in reverse into his boots
salty ponds turn soon to lakes
each time, whenever he aims and shoots


he fights them all, he moves them aside
filled with his sight, he takes them on a ride


groping in the blinding sun
oh! now far will he push
seeking the lost paradise fun
he walks on, walks on, to the eye of the storm


the snakes of the sun
come past the one
crawling, hissing, spitting
taking turns one by one

s-u-i-c-i-d-a-l

When you run in the light
Fear creeping in
You’re scared of losin sight


When you keep runnin
Out of breath
And darkness waits
Just around the corner


the skin has gone red
feet heavy, filled with lead
I want to cry out
Too scared to shout
Su I Ci Dal


When you pant in darkness
Losses brimming up
My body leaps
Mental lines tuggin back


the skin has gone red
feet heavy, filled with lead
I want to cry out
Too scared to shout
Su I Ci Dal


the skin starts to bleed
feet explode, seepin lead
I want to cry out
Too scarred to shout
Su I Ci Dal

marijuanal healing

Have you ever felt frustration which stems out of the inability to control the direction of your mental emotions?


Much has transpired in the little time. Cornered by my inability to completely annihilate her, despite knowing the fact that she can’t bring anything except turmoil and chaos I resumed my tete-a-tete with her. The lull was long, the voice soothening. Everything seems ok. 


Alas! There’s a price for everything and there is a price for peace albeit temporary.


Talking is fine but it’s the supplementary thoughts trouble more than the relief attained otherwise. The immediate and lone cause for uneasiness is when my calls go unanswered. With each passing ring the flame flickers with greater urge, consuming in its own passion. It’s not new to me. I am well informed about habits led by the sole reason "if I feel like it." Under normal circumstances this habit is annoying but that’s where it ends; annoying. Right now the circumstances are not normal and I am trying to recover. I guess that's why unwanted thoughts seep into my head. Thoughts of intense love and misplaced lust. Busy at 1 am; is she being wooed right now. Sweet nothings floating freely through air-waves.


Everything goes awry in a jiffy. I feel desperate and I want to call up again but what if... The trauma taken twice would be too much to tolerate. I start feeling like an idiot.


Why am I so desperate despite everything that conspired?
Why do I want to talk to someone who's destined to be unmine?


Horrid thoughts and insecure questions put together in a turbulent cauldron is the perfect recipe for madness. I can’t concentrate on anything. Everything I do seems purposeless. Amidst the callous errands the only song playing in my mind’s jukebox is ‘Hey Baby! Why doncha take me calls?’


Green, juicy, flaky and dressed in transparent polythene; enters my savior. I hold it in my hands. I tenderly remove the flesh from the bones. Next I throw the seeds away. Carefully placing it on rice papyrus I gently roll my guest into his new avatar. Aim at the centre of its nipple and shoot.


Puff, puff, puff, puff……


I start forgetting. Nonchalance replaces botheration. All of a sudden the tempest subsides. Peace prevails.


Now what does marijuana do? it puts a micro layer of some apparently magic potion on the perceptive scheme of our body. It’s not as if things actually improve. It’s just that I am not left with senses enough to recognize the species or genus of my mental emotions. If an empty mind is a devil’s workshop then it’s safe to call marijuana a lucifericide. Thoughts speed up and the rolling stone in the head gathers no moss. No more does she cross my mind. I enter my wonderland and the view here is green.








P.S.: Each time I roll I know that by the time I chuck the roach, I will not be in a state to attain anything for the entire day. But without my joe, my mind would not be at rest and anything I do would be incoherent and incomprehensible.
On one hand there is a fucked up mind screwing up work while on the other there is a peaceful mind screwing up life.


What would you choose?

amputation...successful

Cauterization is one of the most underrated procedures in medical science. It is the last resort taken by doctors to stop bleeding. A flame or a red hot metal tip is pressed mercilessly upon the wound, the result; a reddish brown mass of instantly boiled clot of blood.


After the teeth were gone I lamented and rued over the loss for a few days. Suddenly I realized that the lacuna of the problem was not situated within my oral cavity. It was there somewhere deeper and if I did not get a cure for it I was destined to be destroyed.


It was a cancerous growth inside me which had to be removed at the earliest. It had been fed and nurtured for four years and had grown strong and wily. In the absence of a surgeon I decided to take the task unto myself. Preparing for the surgery I held consultations with K and K. The stage was set. The anesthesia was lying filled to the brim in the cylinder beside me. The knives and scissors and bandages neatly arranged in the surgeon's pan. But their was a catch. In fact their were a couple of catch. Firstly I couldn't anesthetize myself and secondly the tumor was growing out of the superior vena cava encapsulating a part of the aorta. So remove the tumor and bleed to death; don't remove it and die slowly. Basically I was screwed.


That's when cauterization came to the rescue. I dug deep, located the malignant growth and snipped it off. Immediately I used a burning piece of wood and shoved it into the gaping hole.


Hisssssssssssssssss.....


Just one day down and I feel better. K told me to wait for a while and get the dentures later. She said. "Let your gums heal, nourish them, let them get stronger and for all you know you might not need dentures." It doesn't happen in science but I am sure my teeth will grow again. I am not in a hurry so no quick-fix-rebound dentures for me this time.


Amputation successful!
or is it?

whats in the name - an exposition

It took me almost 10 minutes before I decided the name. I knew exactly what was going through my system and my thoughts too were emanating clear signals. I guess the reason for the delay was the intricate manner in which my thoughts and feelings were spinning together, forming the perfect thread from the tempestuous yarn inside. I guess once you know how things came to this pass, you'll understand better.

I always considered myself to be good with relations. At least till date people falling within my radar of friends have come seeking suggestions on what to do next...to wait for a while or to go for the kill or how to cope up with any obstacle which comes on their path to fulfill the goal of reaching a particular status in their relationship. It was always a cake walk for me. Perched on the top of a tower looking down on the situation I inevitably led the sheep to their pen.

But today the plot has changed. From a shepherd I have metamorphosised into a hapless sheep.

Its been almost a week since I lost the one person I had started loving more than myself. I am the victim here and no matter how hard I try its impossible to climb the tower and look down upon my predicament. I am looking at my situation from a molecule's eye view. Having roosted on the pinnacle all my life its impossible for me to reconcile.

She was the closest any man, woman or animal ever got to me. It would be fair to say that she grew into a vital organ. If I am asked to draw a comparison I'd say she became like a set of teeth. Everything which provided fuel was cut in precision by her before entering my system. Like any other human I never thought what would happen once I lost my teeth.

At first it didn't seem that big a deal. But now as it gets tougher to chew, my innards begin to reject everything. My gums are sore and they can't contribute in ruminating. It would have been so easy for me to help someone else in a similar situation but I guess its impossible to notice the sore bleeding gums from a bird's eye view.